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Decred Journal – August 2018

Note: you can read this on GitHub (link), Medium (link) or old Reddit (link) to see all the links.

Development

dcrd: Version 1.3.0 RC1 (Release Candidate 1) is out! The main features of this release are significant performance improvements, including some that benefit SPV clients. Full release notes and downloads are on GitHub.
The default minimum transaction fee rate was reduced from 0.001 to 0.0001 DCkB. Do not try to send such small fee transactions just yet, until the majority of the network upgrades.
Release process was changed to use release branches and bump version on the master branch at the beginning of a release cycle. Discussed in this chat.
The codebase is ready for the new Go 1.11 version. Migration to vgo module system is complete and the 1.4.0 release will be built using modules. The list of versioned modules and a hierarchy diagram are available here.
The testnet was reset and bumped to version 3.
Comments are welcome for the proposal to implement smart fee estimation, which is important for Lightning Network.
@matheusd recorded a code review video for new Decred developers that explains how tickets are selected for voting.
dcrwallet: Version 1.3.0 RC1 features new SPV sync mode, new ticket buyer, new APIs for Decrediton and a host of bug fixes. On the dev side, dcrwallet also migrated to the new module system.
Decrediton: Version 1.3.0 RC1 adds the new SPV sync mode that syncs roughly 5x faster. The feature is off by default while it receives more testing from experienced users. Other notable changes include a design polish and experimental Politeia integration.
Politeia: Proposal editing is being developed and has a short demo. This will allow proposal owners to edit their proposal in response to community feedback before voting begins. The challenges associated with this feature relate to updating censorship tokens and maintaining a clear history of which version comments were made on. @fernandoabolafio produced this architecture diagram which may be of interest to developers.
@degeri joined to perform security testing of Politeia and found several issues.
dcrdata: mainnet explorer upgraded to v2.1 with several new features. For users: credit/debit tx filter on address page, showing miner fees on coinbase transaction page, estimate yearly ticket rewards on main page, cool new hamburger menu and keyboard navigation. For developers: new chain parameters page, experimental Insight API support, endpoints for coin supply and block rewards, testnet3 support. Lots of minor API changes and frontend tweaks, many bug fixes and robustness improvements.
The upcoming v3.0 entered beta and is deployed on beta.dcrdata.org. Check out the new charts page. Feedback and bug reports are appreciated. Finally, the development version v3.1.0-pre is on alpha.dcrdata.org.
Android: updated to be compatible with the latest SPV code and is syncing, several performance issues are worked on. Details were posted in chat. Alpha testing has started, to participate please join #dev and ask for the APK.
iOS: backend is mostly complete, as well as the front end. Support for devices with smaller screens was improved. What works now: creating and recovering wallets, listing of transactions, receiving DCR, displaying and scanning QR codes, browsing account information, SPV connection to peers, downloading headers. Some bugs need fixing before making testable builds.
Ticket splitting: v0.6.0 beta released with improved fee calculation and multiple bug fixes.
docs: introduced new Governance section that grouped some old articles as well as the new Politeia page.
@Richard-Red created a concept repository sandbox with policy documents, to illustrate the kind of policies that could be approved and amended by Politeia proposals.
decred.org: 8 contributors added and 4 removed, including 2 advisors (discussion here).
decredmarketcap.com is a brand new website that shows the most accurate DCR market data. Clean design, mobile friendly, no javascript required.
Dev activity stats for August: 239 active PRs, 219 commits, 25k added and 11k deleted lines spread across 8 repositories. Contributions came from 2-10 developers per repository. (chart)

Network

Hashrate: went from 54 to 76 PH/s, the low was 50 and the new all-time high is 100 PH/s. BeePool share rose to ~50% while F2Pool shrank to 30%, followed by coinmine.pl at 5% and Luxor at 3%.
Staking: 30-day average ticket price is 95.6 DCR (+3.0) as of Sep 3. During the month, ticket price fluctuated between a low of 92.2 and high of 100.5 DCR. Locked DCR represented between 3.8 and 3.9 million or 46.3-46.9% of the supply.
Nodes: there are 217 public listening and 281 normal nodes per dcred.eu. Version distribution: 2% at v1.4.0(pre) (dev builds), 5% on v1.3.0 (RC1), 62% on v1.2.0 (-5%), 22% on v1.1.2 (-2%), 6% on v1.1.0 (-1%). Almost 69% of nodes are v.1.2.0 and higher and support client filters. Data snapshot of Aug 31.

ASICs

Obelisk posted 3 email updates in August. DCR1 units are reportedly shipping with 1 TH/s hashrate and will be upgraded with firmware to 1.5 TH/s. Batch 1 customers will receive compensation for missed shipment dates, but only after Batch 5 ships. Batch 2-5 customers will be receiving the updated slim design.
Innosilicon announced the new D9+ DecredMaster: 2.8 TH/s at 1,230 W priced $1,499. Specified shipping date was Aug 10-15.
FFMiner DS19 claims 3.1 TH/s for Blake256R14 at 680 W and simultaneously 1.55 TH/s for Blake2B at 410 W, the price is $1,299. Shipping Aug 20-25.
Another newly noticed miner offer is this unit that does 46 TH/s at 2,150 W at the price of $4,720. It is shipping Nov 2018 and the stats look very close to Pangolin Whatsminer DCR (which has now a page on asicminervalue).

Integrations

www.d1pool.com joined the list of stakepools for a total of 16.
Australian CoinTree added DCR trading. The platform supports fiat, there are some limitations during the upgrade to a new system but also no fees in the "Early access mode". On a related note, CoinTree is working on a feature to pay household bills with cryptocurrencies it supports.
Three new OTC desks were added to exchanges page at decred.org.
Two mobile wallets integrated Decred:
Reminder: do your best to understand the security and privacy model before using any wallet software. Points to consider: who controls the seed, does the wallet talk to the nodes directly or via middlemen, is it open source or not?

Adoption

Merchants:

Marketing

Targeted advertising report for August was posted by @timhebel. Facebook appeal is pending, some Google and Twitter campaigns were paused and some updated. Read more here.
Contribution to the @decredproject Twitter account has evolved over the past few months. A #twitter_ops channel is being used on Matrix to collaboratively draft and execute project account tweets (including retweets). Anyone with an interest in contributing to the Twitter account can ask for an invitation to the channel and can start contributing content and ideas there for evaluation by the Twitter group. As a result, no minority or unilateral veto over tweets is possible. (from GitHub)

Events

Attended:
For those willing to help with the events:
BAB: Hey all, we are gearing up for conference season. I have a list of places we hope to attend but need to know who besides @joshuam and @Haon are willing to do public speaking, willing to work booths, or help out at them? You will need to be well versed on not just what is Decred, but the history of Decred etc... DM me if you are interested. (#event_planning)
The Decred project is looking for ambassadors. If you are looking for a fun cryptocurrency to get involved in send me a DM or come talk to me on Decred slack. (@marco_peereboom, longer version here)

Media

Decred Assembly episode 21 is available. @jy-p and lead dcrwallet developer @jrick discussed SPV from Satoshi's whitepaper, how it can be improved upon and what's coming in Decred.
Decred Assembly episodes 1-21 are available in audio only format here.
New instructional articles on stakey.club: Decrediton setup, Deleting the wallet, Installing Go, Installing dcrd, dcrd as a Linux service. Available in both English and Portuguese.
Decred scored #32 in the August issue of Chinese CCID ratings. The evaluation model was explained in this interview.
Satis Group rated Decred highly in their cryptoasset valuation research report (PDF). This was featured by several large media outlets, but some did not link to or omitted Decred entirely, citing low market cap.
Featured articles:
Articles:
Videos:

Community Discussions

Community stats:
Comm systems news:
After another debate about chat systems more people began testing and using Matrix, leading to some gardening on that platform:
Highlights:
Reddit: substantive discussion about Decred cons; ecosystem fund; a thread about voter engagement, Politeia UX and trolling; idea of a social media system for Decred by @michae2xl; how profitable is the Obelisk DCR1.
Chats: cross-chain trading via LN; plans for contractor management system, lower-level decision making and contractor privacy vs transparency for stakeholders; measuring dev activity; what if the network stalls, multiple implementations of Decred for more resilience, long term vision behind those extensive tests and accurate comments in the codebase; ideas for process for policy documents, hosting them in Pi and approving with ticket voting; about SPV wallet disk size, how compact filters work; odds of a wallet fetching a wrong block in SPV; new module system in Go; security of allowing Android app backups; why PoW algo change proposal must be specified in great detail; thoughts about NIPoPoWs and SPV; prerequisites for shipping SPV by default (continued); Decred vs Dash treasury and marketing expenses, spending other people's money; why Decred should not invade a country, DAO and nation states, entangling with nation state is poor resource allocation; how winning tickets are determined and attack vectors; Politeia proposal moderation, contractor clearance, the scale of proposals and decision delegation, initial Politeia vote to approve Politeia itself; chat systems, Matrix/Slack/Discord/RocketChat/Keybase (continued); overview of Korean exchanges; no breaking changes in vgo; why project fund burn rate must keep low; asymptotic behavior of Decred and other ccs, tail emission; count of full nodes and incentives to run them; Politeia proposal translations and multilingual environment.
An unusual event was the chat about double negatives and other oddities in languages in #trading.

Markets

DCR started the month at USD 56 / BTC 0.0073 and had a two week decline. On Aug 14 the whole market took a huge drop and briefly went below USD 200 billion. Bitcoin went below USD 6,000 and top 100 cryptos lost 5-30%. The lowest point coincided with Bitcoin dominance peak at 54.5%. On that day Decred dived -17% and reached the bottom of USD 32 / BTC 0.00537. Since then it went sideways in the USD 35-45 / BTC 0.0054-0.0064 range. Around Aug 24, Huobi showed DCR trading volume above USD 5M and this coincided with a minor recovery.
@ImacallyouJawdy posted some creative analysis based on ticket data.

Relevant External

StopAndDecrypt published an extensive article "ASIC Resistance is Nothing but a Blockchain Buzzword" that is much in line with Decred's stance on ASICs.
The ongoing debates about the possible Sia fork yet again demonstrate the importance of a robust dispute resolution mechanism. Also, we are lucky to have the treasury.
Mark B Lundeberg, who found a vulnerability in atomicswap earlier, published a concept of more private peer-to-peer atomic swaps. (missed in July issue)
Medium took a cautious stance on cryptocurrencies and triggered at least one project to migrate to Ghost (that same project previously migrated away from Slack).
Regulation: Vietnam bans mining equipment imports, China halts crypto events and tightens control of crypto chat groups.
Reddit was hacked by intercepting 2FA codes sent via SMS. The announcement explains the impact. Yet another data breach suggests to think twice before sharing any data with any company and shift to more secure authentication systems.
Intel and x86 dumpsterfire keeps burning brighter. Seek more secure hardware and operating systems for your coins.
Finally, unrelated to Decred but good for a laugh: yetanotherico.com.

About This Issue

This is the 5th issue of Decred Journal. It is mirrored on GitHub, Medium and Reddit. Past issues are available here.
Most information from third parties is relayed directly from source after a minimal sanity check. The authors of Decred Journal have no ability to verify all claims. Please beware of scams and do your own research.
Feedback is appreciated: please comment on Reddit, GitHub or #writers_room on Matrix or Slack.
Contributions are welcome too. Some areas are collecting content, pre-release review or translations to other languages. Check out @Richard-Red's guide how to contribute to Decred using GitHub without writing code.
Credits (Slack names, alphabetical order): bee, Haon, jazzah, Richard-Red and thedecreddigest.
submitted by jet_user to decred [link] [comments]

Weekly Web Opportunities For Entrepreneurs - Week 2

Thanks for the love on the last post. This week there's a lot of people bidding on stuff and prices are pretty high. I paid double what an application dev wanted for an app due to the sudden influx of bidders. As such I am going to add a new feature, and that's a target purchase price range. I'll try to include ROI calculations, break even assessments, etc... where possible, but strongly encourage you to do your own math. For those who missed last week read that post here
Last week Flippa, the main portal to buy and sell websites / apps, made a UI update. There's a lot more to see on each screen so in this week's post I'll be linking directly to the opportunity I found there, hope that's ok with the mods. Disclaimer and Updates on last weeks post are at the bottom.
Business: InstaSnoop Type: iOS App Business Model: Ad Supported Listed On: Flippa.com Listing Type: Auctions / Buy It Now Current Price: $600 Target Price Range: $1,500 - $3,500 Days Til End: 5 days My Thoughts: This is an app that allows you to surf though Instagram without being able to comment or like on any photos. Perfect for the Instastalker and likely something teens / young adults would download based on past social media history of this very same behavior (MySpace and Facebook). Could also be a valuable tool for HR departments and Law Enforcement to look through public data without accidentally notifying people that are being watched. Business Insider also did an article on this app and it's been written about by Mashable, Madmoizelle Magazine, Cosmopolitan Australia, and a handful of other websites. That's where the good news ends. The listing itself has a lot of red flags for me. First off the seller states that he lives in United Arab Emirates, but there's an Australian trademark license in the images provided. Secondly he states that he posted a screenshot of his good friend 'Sandy' but the screenshots are all named Jane Smith or John Smith, common filler names meaning they might not be indicitive of what the app actually looks like. Also a commenter points out this doesn't appear to use the Instagram API, so how it works is a bit of a mystery at the moment. Finally the app has an official website, but that doesn't appear to have been verified by the seller. Verdict: Buy maybe - The name of the seller on Flippa matches the name listed on iTunes and while there's no verified data, this app got quite a bit of publicity late last year. Also the seller has a remarkable rating and claims over $300k in transations on the website. Now all of that could be easily faked but the more information I examine the more likely it is to be legitimate. Still, there's a lot of room to ask questions and before you go dipping your toes into the bidding pool I'd get those questions answered either publicly or privately. If you're into making social media clients or already doing something with Instagram this is a pretty decent pickup, if only for the links going to the apps website. They have links from places like CBS and Hootsuite and their images are used on various other websites. (pro tip: you can see if an app is legitimate by doing a reverse image search on the supplied screenshots required for iOS / android app stores). According to Open Site Explorer the site has links from 27 other websites. If you bought this, made half of your money back, and then shut it down and forwarded the website to another social media app, instagram blog, etc... it would be worth the purchase price. Still, the app got quite a bit of coverage last year and while the gimmick might be burned out there's every chance that it's not and that porting this app to Android and Windows phone could bring in more publicity driving higher downloads and generating income back. Link: Flippa auction link App Store Link: iOS App Store Profile = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Business: Pizza Destinations Type: Pizza Food Blog Business Model: Ad Supported Listed On: Flippa.com Listing Type: Auction Current Price: $1 Target Price Range: $10 to $25 Days Til End: 2 hours My Thoughts: Note: This auction might be over by the time this is posted, but it's been listed 13 times before so there's a good chance it'll still be there. This is one for the entry level entrepreneur. Are you a college or high school student that wants some free pizza? This is a deal for you, if you get it for the right price. I have several friends that run food / travel blogs and they are growing in popularity with restaurant owners. Most restaurant owners are very fickle with how they spend their marketing budget, giving away a free pizza in exchange for a positive review, location listings, and a link is a win for them every time. Of course the domain name pigeon holes you into traveling and/or cooperating with other people in various areas to get this to work. I checked the content and while it's unique it's terrible quality. The design of the site isn't good either. The website has almost zero SEO value as well and no social media presence. Still, there's quite a bit of upside for an entry level entrepreneur to get their feet wet with this one as pizza restaurants are found around the globe and in varying arrays of style, ingredient selection, ingredient quality, and price. Verdict: Buy low - Sure buy it, but don't pay too much. It's going to take some work to get this thing going, but that's good news for a pizza craving entrepreneur. The seller has a Buy It Now price of $150, but if you bid on this auction it's very likely that it won't go for that price, which means the auction will end and you'll get an offer from the seller for half. That's your chance to negotiate. If you do buy it immediately start categorizing the site on a geolocation basis (i.e. country -> state/prov -> city -> neighborhood). If you don't get this for the right price and you like the concept don't freak out, there are still a lot of good domain names available in the space and WordPress is free. That's all you're really getting in this sale anyways.

Link: Flippa auction link

Business: 1 Gallon a Day Type: iOS app Business Model: Ad Supported Listed On: Flippa.com Listing Type: Auction Current Price: $4,500 Target Price Range: $4,000 to $6,800 Days Til End: 3 Days My Thoughts: If you've been to a gym for more than 5 minutes you know that gym bros carry around a gallon jug to make sure they drink their 1 gallon of water per day. This app makes it far easier for people to track their water intake. The app was featured on the Apple App store and just got a recent update that hasn't been messaged out to the general public just yet. This app made $4k in revenue in January because it was featured, revenue dropped to $478 in February after the app was no longer featured. That means revenue might not be a function of number of downloads, but of how often it gets featured. The $478 in February was still more than the first month the app existed, December 2015 which was $199. If I had a fitness client or brand I would have them gobble this app up and if I had another fitness tracking app I would examine the likelihood of merging the 2 or adding other tracking features to this app. Verdict: Buy - Fitness is hot and doesn't appear to be cooling off. There's a lot of room for this to grow and you should be able to make the purchase price back within it's first year. Still don't expect this to be your million dollar golden egg. It's a one trick pony with something that could easily be copied. You should grab all of the downloads you can, while you can, expand to Android, and then either introduce sister apps to this one or new features in the next 4 to 6 months before other apps start duplicating your method and your messaging.

Link: Flippa auction link

Business: 94 Designs Type: Website Business Model: Job / Gig Listings Listed On: Flippa.com Listing Type: Auction Current Price: $149 Target Price Range: $0 Days Til End: 14 hours My Thoughts: This is a gig listing site like fiverr. There are dozens upon dozens of these on the web already and this one offers nothing unique. The brand name is also incredibly similar to 99 designs which does something very similar to this.

Verdict: DO NOT BUY - Run from this one as fast as you can. I just wanted to post a DNB listing here and this one isn't just in a crowded field making it a dog, but there's also a chance you'll get into legal trouble with it. The seller has the starting price at $149 and the buy it now price at $150, which isn't a great sign either. Not worth it, move along.

Business: Bit Video Type: Website Business Model: Profit sharing Listed On: Flippa.com Listing Type: Auction Current Price: $331 Target Price Range: $500 - $2,000 Days Til End: 23 hours My Thoughts: Live Streaming video is all the rage today and this is a pretty neat implementation of that but using bitcoins and WebRTC to achieve a decentralized live streaming video network. Unfortunately it's generating zero revenue according to the listing and the seller has posted frustratingly little about the site. Based on my experiences in online video (GamersTube.com 2006 to 2013) I know that this is going to be fraught with challenges. If I'm understanding the description correctly though, this website won't incur the bandwidth bill of the streamed video, and that's the largest expenditure for any video site. To me it's a unique and interesting concept which, if the bitcoin community embraced, could lead to double digit monthly revenues. It's a gamble, but a gamble I'd be willing to make if I could validate that this is a unique implementation of the prior mentioned technologies and not based on a script. Verdict: Buy - This looks like a star in the making to me, though it's intrinsically tied to the on again / off again fortunes of bitcoin. If it turns out this is just a redo of an already done implementation or there is some bigger bitcoin video competitor, I might change my verdict on this to a Watch or DNB.

Link: Flippa auction link

Business: Ventrilode Type: iOS App Business Model: Ad supported Listed On: Flippa.com Listing Type: Auction Current Price: $3,000 Target Price Range: $2,500 - $3,250 Days Til End: 9 days My Thoughts: Ventrilode is something I've been familiar with for some time as it was born out of the frustration with Flagship Industries, the makers of Ventrilo, not making an app client. As far as I know Ventrilo server hosts are barred from being associated with any unofficial clients for Ventrilo, including mobile app clients. I was told this while doing consulting work for NationVoice, at one time the largest Ventrilo server host in the world. That means the biggest source of advertisers, revenue, and publicity are not approachable which will make driving revenue from this difficult. Add to that that the app is being used less as VOIP clients for gaming fall out of favor with consumers and you see that this is not a good idea for a large cash investment.

Verdict: Watch - Unless you think you can lose 3k active users per month and still make a profit, do not buy this. Brian Knapp / Flagship Industries could always introduce a mobile client at any moment, or upgrade Ventrilo which hasn't happened since 2007, breaking this app. But the loss of users is much bigger of a problem and the current price of $3,000 hasn't even reach their reserve price. You could be buy this app simply to grab eyeballs and attention of PC gamers. At the price of $3,000 that would put your customer acquisition costs at $0.42 / active user. That's a great deal, but remember its hemorrhaging active users at a rate of approximately 250 per month. By the time you close and get everything transferred over your customer acquisition costs could rise substantially and that's at the $3,000 figure that doesn't match their reserve. In five years the developers never wanted to make an Android version of this and that's weird to me. This auction also comes with another iOS app client for Mumble called Mumblefy. To me this is a wait and see, but there are very few ways in which this app will make your investment back and a whole lot of ways you'll lose every penny.

Business: Rocket Soccer Type: iOS / Android app Business Model: Ad Supported Listed On: Flippa.com Listing Type: Auction Current Price: $600 Target Price Range: $500 - $1,000 Days Til End: 4 days My Thoughts: This is a ripoff of Rocket League, a popular game on PS4 and Xbox. I didn't even want to download and test it, but it has atrocious reviews on the Android app store.

Verdict: DO NOT BUY - I am not into buying ripoff apps or websites that I can't make unique. This one just feels too close to Rocket League for me to enjoy. Of course buying this would allow you to follow in their coat tails and make some decent scratch. I'm just not going to recommend that.

UPDATES on WEEK 1: * Nerd Armor - 1 day left at $3,000 w/ reserve met auction listing * CheapTonight.com - Ended without sale open to offers now * IBartendNow.com - 15 days left at $200 w/ reserve not met auction listing * Paintball-Stuff.com - Sold for $40, negotiated post-sale closed listing
Disclaimer: As always I am not affiliated with Flippa, GoDaddy Auctions, AfterNIC, Digital Point, Name Pros, Empire Flippers, or any other website, social community, or web app where websites, domains, and mobile apps are bought and sold. I have been building websites since 1994 and currently run a boutique digital strategy agency. I also buy websites and apps to optimize and earn revenue from. This post contains only my opinions and serves as no guarantee of success.
submitted by joeyoungblood to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]

Help required for best website/bitcoin payment system! (For a couple with poor website design skills running baby clothing store)

Hey folks, We have been playing with bitcoin for the last year or so and having good fun with it.
We would love to do our part in helping the bitcoin movement but are struggling to find the best solution to our problem.
Currently we run our baby clothing shop through madeit and etsy but the payment options seem lacking there (We don't want a buy it now but pay later once we send you the bitcoin details option).
We are therefore keen on getting a website up an running with all forms of payment accepted including bitcoin.
As we are in Australia, 'Coinjar' seem like a good choice due to the low fees and automatic currency conversion but are unsure as to how to build a web site and integrate it with the payment system. (I trialled Coinjar earlier for processing speed and it was fantastic).
We see our main areas of focus being:
1) Ease of creating website, preferably with an online website creation tool that needs little skill to do so
2) Acceptance of all forms of payments.
3) Ability to offer discounts, for example to redditors or bitcoiners!
4) Low cost - We looked at Bitpay but $30p/m is simply too expensive for our small business.
We would really appreciate any help. If you would like to check out our sites they are over at:
https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/JoniPonyBabyBoutique http://www.madeit.com.au/Main/Store?storeid=15584
Thanks!
submitted by jonipony to Bitcoin [link] [comments]

[Table] IAmA: Hi, I'm rob. I wrote ANIMAL FRIENDS: FLOATING ORANGE CUBES. 6 copies sold worldwide. AMA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-02-23
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
My name is rob also. upvoted. EDIT holy shit. almost 2,000 upvotes for stating my name? damn. Your username... I... we need to be friends.
You're probably in your 30's. Im only 16. whispers"we'll make this work"" WE'RE GUNA MAKE IT AFTERALLL.
There's no way he gets that reference. Corn on the rob knows all.
He's gonna need to learn some Moore. More more moore.
In the midnight hour. I can feeel your power.
How do you like it? How do you like it?
Amazon says your book is in stock but requires one or day extra days to process. Are you drawing each one as it is ordered? Jk, it must be a lot of work to get to this point and I applaud you! Hehe, nah I don't draw any of it. Some company in Melbourne is managing it. I don't know... But I will say, all artwork was done by the kids at St Dominic's school for hearing impaired kids... some cool art.
That's pretty fucked up you're taking advantage of retarded kids to draw your books in some weird Dominican labor factory. Well, I am a bastard :/
You are Jon Snow? I wish I was that handsome motherfucker... sadly no... I'm rob.
I wouldn't attend any weddings... Edit: seriously people? Spoiler complaints? The book has been out for 14 years and the series has covered the event now. Get over it. Edit#2: For the record you would have needed prior knowledge for my innocuous comment to spoil anything. I know. I try.
Well I mean that's still cool. You seem like a pretty nice guy judging from this AMA. And about those little fishies that are swimming in the sea, do they dream of what it would be like to live on land with you and me?
I wonder if we get enough people summoning Here_Comes_The_King Snoop would rap your book for us? U/Here_Comes_The_King you have my blessings 100% to rap any of my stories ANYTIME... Here's one I made that rhymes if that helps.
The floating orange cubes send their regards. Haha :) I don't know why, but this made me piss myself laughing :D.
God damn it that was beautiful. Magine if snoop rapped it! Would make it a masterpiece!
I'm imagining the beat to "Drop it like it's hot" perhaps add a hook, female vocals, "Sweet sweet dreams.. baby Noah" Hehe. shit I hope this happens. where are you Here_Comes_The_King ??
Why did this make my eyes wet. I need to harden up. There's nothing more hard than a man who cries... I think The Rock said that...
Your book has only sold 6 copies and it has got 3 reviews on Amazon. Are the reviewers on Amazon your friends or your family who just bought the book to show their support ? They are. So really... I should say... ZERO copies sold to people I don't know...
two of those people seem to want to sell it, there are two "used, like new" listings. Shame on you robs friends. Yeh, fuck them :) actually might even be the distributor just trying to get rid of copies... like a $2 bin of books...
Just letting you know.. Assuming NO ONE else has purchased your book... You have now sold one to someone you don't know. My copy should arrive on the 27th :) Holy fucking shit thank you!!! Who are you? I want to know you!
It's probably bots. Especially with the price just a bit higher, they probably just order the books on-demand if someone buys it. That would be more likely yes...
Just a guy on the internet from the great city of Chicago in the United States. :) Batman?
Proof of purchase :p. I don't have the balls to be batman. But I'll happily read your book :) Woah fuck me. that is nuts... Link to www.youtube.com
Alright, no getting out of this one, you have to marry a male celebrity (not necessarily have to consummate the marriage, your decision). You must stay in this marriage for 5 years, after which you receive 10 million dollars. You can not decide not to do this or choose death; neither is an option. Which male celebrity would you have a bromance? How would you spend the money? Would you remain friends after the divorce or cry in the shower where people can't hear you? Easy. Leonardo DiCaprio. I would do that anyway. Dudes a legend. 10/10 would consumate... Afterwards, I divide the money up between my family members and go to fiji...
Titanic Leo, or Wolf of Wall street Leo? You said your safe word is Wolfy. Might get messy. Either would be acceptable.
Gilbert Grape Leo? Why is this even a question??? OF COURSE GGL!
What in the world is going on in this thread? It's like everyone popped a ton of molly before hand. What does 'ton of molly' mean? :)
Like a bunch of X. Brb. googling 'bunch of X'
Drugs. Where?
As in copious amounts of MDMA. Does that have PCP in it? :D.
Not usually, no. Sorry to disappoint? Brb. adding PCP to MDMA to see what happens.
Do you like trains? I love trains... when I travel on them, I pretend I am travelling to Hogwarts.
Link to www.reddit.com. I like free rides :D but I don't think they will have me :/
They said they'll take anyone. Even a blogger. I... I didn't read it completely... you got me... BUt I will check it out :)
After the AMA, how many have you sold? I will let you know... someone just told me they grabbed a kindle version, so... pretty stoked about that...
Fastest reply ever. So 7 sold? 1 to a stranger :D.
Thats a 4.99$ profit! HAHA! :) really properly laughing right now.
Wait until you do the math and figure out your hourly rate... Oh God Why.
So what do you plan on doing with the money? Giving it all away... ps. I don't do this for money... and am still epicly in the red for my troubles :\)
Why did you do it then? I mean, publish the book and all. I like telling stories is all...
Favourite kind of cheese? Blue cheese. Cheese and mould just go together so beautifully... I also love cheese cake.
time in my life that someone has replied to my comment on an AMA. Link to www.livememe.com
But Rob, isn't cheese a mold in itself? :0
What? Our great big are Reddit family didn't support you? Oh no. you guys did. you guys did indeed! what I mean is... take a sample of say 10,000 people in Australia... one question: Do you know this guy? results: no one...
Oh. Well I'm not in Australia so sorry about that. Good luck on your book though! Thanks man. You are most kind... And may I too, also wish you the best with your creative endeavours... whatever they may be... what are they btw?
Dude! You're talking about a place with scorpions and crocodiles and koala bears! Nobody's heard of anyone because they're too busy fighting for their life with swords and bows and eucalyptus leaves! This is true... except Koala bears... I love those guys... have one as a butler in fact :)
With all this success, do you find your life changing. Like are you able to order McDoubles at McDonalds now instead of just a normal burger? Haha. iv moved up in the world. I only go to McCafe now...
Wow... That's truly impressive. Congratulations OP, you're a successful celebrity! Look at me dad! I'm just like James Bond :D.
I also hear karma is worth a lot as well. You may be set for life soon OP. I'm guna cash in HARD.
What's your book about? These birds attack a village of Cicadas (For no reason... just being the dicks that they are) and then, the Cicadas travel through a television screen somehow, and come out the other side falling from the sky and shit all over said birds... There's a bit of a struggle for territory scenario happening for while, indicative of what many cultures have experienced through history... Then there is peace... or is there?? read to find out :D
BirdsBeingDicks. Haha. fuckn birds. thank you for this. I will now become a subscriber and enjoy hours of laughs thanks to you /Fluffy017.
Like, literally shit on them? How do you translate this to childrens book? Through the magic of words :D I don't know... that was just the tl;dr of the book...
You just linked to the subreddit Fluffy017 NOT to the user. You damn fool, Rob. Fuck. I am such a dickhead :/
Anytime, bro. I'm always down to support a fellow author :) Also if you like that sub, you might also like its cousin, /birdswitharms. And /animalswithoutnecks too... I do NOT have a problem >.> Link to makeameme.org
fuck. I a such a dickhead :/ on an AMA for a childrens book.. 10/10. Hey, just callin it like it is :)
Interesting choice. do you fear mel gibson would be an abusive lover? and would justin be gentle or rough? Any man with the name Mel would be a gentle lover... Justin... he won't get a say in the level of roughness...
(´・_・`) Don't hate the player hate the game :p.
Most def does, how much would you charge for a signed copy sent all the way to Norway? PM me your address. If you make a YouTube video of you reading it, pretending to be all excited and shit, you can have it for free :)
No really, I'll fucking do it. I will sign it...
Obviously you'll have to sign it to your very best friend, since we're best friends now, right? "To my fucking amazingest best friend in the universe."
I'll add you to my friends list on reddit, so yes - we are. Wait, GOLD?
Also, gold. SHIIITTT YEEEAAAHHH.
We are planning to do dramatic readings of books, often taking completely appropriate passages and making them sound inappropriate (weighing of the wands in Harry Potter for example). We definitely plan on doing yours now :D And put in a special word for how awesome you are! Firstly, that is incredibly incredible. Harry Potter is definitely the classic of classics... secondly, can you make a video of this happening?? :D.
DONE! Next time you're in Norway a beer is on me. You'll thank me when you realize how expensive beer is up here. You know what... I might even be there in a few months to take you up on that :)
Do it, will be amazeballs! 10/10 happening.
Oh. My. God. I would just like to say that you are my favourite author. JK Rowling is a piss-stain compared to your level of literature. Is there any way you could share your secret? Or could I at least get a copy of your bestseller signed? THANK YOU! I don't even care that you're joking... That made me feel all types of nawws. Thank you GrandmaTaco. You have made me smile :) I will share my secret with you... And that secret is... Tear shit up.
I actually only just read the Amazon link. Is it true that it is illustrated by hearing-impared children? If so, keep up the awesome work! It is indeed. Was so much fun getting the kids involved. There are some scenes that I needed illustrated that had animals pooing on other animals... the kids really dug drawing those ones :) lesson: kids love poo in stories.
That is Fucking awesome. You said I put a smile on your face, now you have put one on mine. The way humanity should be.
I'm 30 years old and I LOVE poo in stories. I'm 31. Can confirm: Poo in stories NEVER gets old :)
Do you have a day job? What is it? Also, tell us your best non-generic joke. Yeh. I work in digital marketing... 9 to 5 type deal... ends up usually being 8 to 6 or 7 :/ How do you catch a rabbit? lay real low in the grass and make noises like a carrot... gets me everytime... even when I was just writing it right now :)
I actually giggle out loud! (At the joke, not your job!!) Happy to help :)
What is your favourite movie of all time? This is an easy one. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION. Favourite scene probs when Andy Dufresne listens to the music with the doors locked, not giving ANY fucks... What about you man? Wait... your username... are we pals already???
I love Shawshank, an amazing movie and that's my favourite scene from it too! Second favourite scene...
So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit Just absolutely brilliant! Oh shit! The whole film is just fucking perfect! :D.
It is! You seem pretty cool. I hope your book sells well :D. Thanks man. Either way... My dream is for me to die horrifically and then sales go through the roof!
Just go mad and cut your ear off like Van Gogh... Van Bro.
Hi my name's Jake. I'm canadian and I'm your new friend. Want to watch the swedes get their asses whooped at hockey in a few hours? I am definitely staying up to watch this! Fuck yeh! GO CANADA EY!
YES!!! This is the best. Converted another one! We can IM during the game if you'd like. Ok. lock me in. what time exactly??
The game is at 4am my time. It's currently 1:13am. Ah. You're on the east coast?
Can... Can you take my girlfriend and me to the aquarium? Shes been wanting to go for ages but Im too much of a disorganised anus. You may think I am joking here, but I will 100% do this. we talkin Syd?
Favorite kind of jam? There could be only one answer
You had me laughing for a good bit there! But seriously, what is your favorite marmelade flavor? I need it for my researches! Probs have to go with the classic... orange marmalade... That's one of them yeh?
"Maaad" is this a common saying between Aussies? I only ask because I have seen way to many MightyCarMods videos... I think it is. I only know a handful of Aussies... Also, what is MightyCarMods? car show?
They do diy car mods and things on the YouTubes. They make me giggle. I like to laugh... will check this out :) thanks.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much wood as a woodchuck could.
If a woodchuck could chuck wood? )
What is it that makes Australia such an awesome country? I love this country because: Health care is pretty sweet, there are no major wars going on, the sports are great, you can go surfing in almost every town, and basically everyone is someone I'd like to have a beer with. You should come say gday :)
Are there any minor wars? There's always bullying, drug problems and injustices... but on the scale of none to Venezuela... we are closer to none...
I'm from Winnipeg, Canada, but have lived near San Francisco since 1994. Sorry, I'm not a chess player. Or an online player of anything at all. How would I be able to order an autographed copy of your new book? :D. PM your deets. I'll get you one if you video yourself reading it and jumping for joy :D Who did you go for in the Canada V USA hockey game in the Winter Olympics???
Canada all the way!!! My oldest son is going to tape tomorrows game, because it's happening at 4 a.m. here. I'm going to head over to his place at 10 and we'll watch it together, fast forwarding through the intermissions. Go Canada go!!! Hehe, I would fervently support your plight... but since I am Australian...
Link to i.imgur.com
Just let me know if I'm interrupting you guys. Carry on.
What is your safe word? Wolfy.
Oh. )
Whats your DEEPEST darkest secret?! or Family secret? or do you like cats? I love cats. My deepest secrets wow... Um... I really dig older women... like. a lot older :/
GMILF's all the way. Thanks for not upvoting the shit outa that one guys. IOU.
What is your favorite book? That's a tough one... mainly because I don't read that often... I really really really like The Dark Tower series... mainly because it just gets weird (weird is essential)... but there are some dull bits...
Got any cool plans this upcoming week? Guna be working mainly. But huge week this week. Huge week. First episode of the new season of Survivor is happening. I fucking love that shit. So, there's that... How about you canitouchyourtouchie?? where do you live and such? what do you do?
57 cents off? What a deal! Also, this is one of the better AMAs I've read. You seem like an awesome person with an awesome attitude on life. You tell the stories that need to be told. That is an extremely nice thing to say. Thank you changelifetoday. If you ever need a friend, you have one in me.
Sup rob? What are you thinking about? If I don't get an answer I'm gonna be so mad. I'm on the couch with my laptop... Survivor: Gabon rerun on the tv... I'm thinking about the tacos I had for dinner. lishuss. What are YOU thinking about jacqui_ ??
What are your views on New Zealand? I saw you were Australian.. I don't despise NZ (contrary to most). Have been there a few times and dig it... The LOTR tour is still on my bucketlist... why do you ask?
Awesome :D I was over in Brisbane the other week visiting. SOOO DAMN HOT!! I was actually talking to a guy last night who went on the Hobbiton tour and you actually can visit the pub and the give you free beer. FREE BEER?? WWOW...
Nah no real reason for asking to be honest. Kinda seems to be the go to thing for down in this parts of the world sometimes haha. I was going to ask your views on the new Aus Prime Minister? I haven't really followed things over there too much, but hear he has mixed reviews.. I try and steer clear of politics (unlike a vast majority of my Facebook friends). My feelings are, unless I actively support a cause or movement, I probs shouldn't talk as if I know the whole situation...
EDIT: Hobbiton spelling. You dig?
How stoned are you right now? But seriously, you're my fav ama so far, ive read pretty much the whole thing. Keep it up. I haven't been stoned in ages... dammit... Thank you indeed :) where are you in the world? watching the hockey final later? I mean now... shit.
Got your book on kindle (sorry, I don't really like print media). Just read the first two pages, but the bit about Abby thinking the flies should prepare to die made me literally laugh out loud. I hope you sell a million copies and become famous and write more books about insect-murdering children. Um...question: At what point did you decide your book was finished and ready for public consumption? And do you have any advice on writing "funny"? Thaaanks :) Shit! You paid money... THANK YOU. I... to answer your question... It helped to kind of set a release date and just work to that... letting go of it when it was done was just awesome... so many edits... Writing funny... I'm probably not the best person to comment on that one... people who think they are funny, usually are not funny... So, I don't think I'm funny... So that means I'm funny right? :/
Shameless plug: www.mybtdt.com Melbourne's lowest selling sunglasses company! Discount code for Reddit? DOGEFTW. I wish you all the best with this man. You got to follow your dreams... It will happen for you if it's what you love...
I am currently working on my AA in English Literature, I want to be an author. I mostly do short stories, and hope to publish a compilation someday. What authors have most influenced your work? As someone whos story has been published but not successful, do you feel any sort of resentment towards anyone for that? Readers, publishers, etc? How hard was it to get published? Wow. You must be way more smarts than I am... I think anyone who tries to be weird influences me... authors, musicians, tv & film creators, teachers, people grinding out a 9 to 5... if you're putting your mark on what you do... I respect that...I don't feel any resentment to anyone... I am self-published... it wasn't hard... Answer your Q's friend? I hope your writing goes well. Message me when you are ready and I will check out your stuff...
What the hell, man. You could have mentioned you have a trailer. Yes, there's that too :D.
If we all left amazing reviews on the Amazon page, do you think this would help boost sales? I think yes. that would be cool. PS. ur username... I think I wana be your friend.
Hi rob! Do you know about cryptocurrencies like bitcoin or dogecoin? Would you consider accepting dogecoin for your books? I accept Bitcoins on my website :) google 'Kids Author' to find me... there's 2 books in my Bitcoin Only book store :)
You look stoned in the AMA image. You a pot head? No why? You sellin? Maybe.
Ok, you seem to be the very chill, very active AMA creator, so I will ask you two questions. 1: What colour is your toothbrush? 2: Which part of a blowjob would you personally prefer to give to another man: the first 99%, or the last 1%? Orange.
I'll give 100%. Just the kinda guy I am ;)
Whereabouts in Melbourne are you from? I'm actually up in Newcastle... will be down there in a few weeks if you wana have a beer or something.
Ah funny that! I will be in Newcastle around end of this year :) I'll have to check my busy schedule! Haha. Lets do it :)
I imagine this is what J.D. Salinger would be like if he were an extrovert. Now for my question: what direction does the water spin when you flush the toilet in Australia? Hold on. I'll check...
Anti Clockwise.
6 copies sold worldwide... Did you sell 1 copy on each continent? Not exactly... was more like one on each family member :/ Oh. And I bought one...
Hi rob. Just wondering why your name isn't capitalised? I consider myself a sub-human... not as important as other rob's. you dig? :)
Would said message declare undying love for me? Link to www.livememe.com
You just inspired me to write the book I've had on my mind for 30 years. I mean, if this Rob guy can do it, why can't I? That's exactly right! do it man :) And send me a link when you're done so I can check it out...
Hey Rob, I really want to buy your book and I live near Melbourne but everywhere wants $20+ for shipping which is crazy. Is there a local way to get the book? Free shipping here my friend :) Link to www.bookworld.com.au
Yes! I'm doing quite well now. How are you? Not too bad indeed :) what are you up to???
Do you know where I am? :D.
Potato? Potato.
I just wanted to say that I purchased the kindle edition and the people at work tomorrow are going to get a dramatic reading from it. Holy shit! thanks. hey can... can you make a video of that happening? That would be maaad!
Yeah I should be able to do that for you. Ill send you a youtube link of it when i get it done. This is fucking excellent :) I can't wait!!!
just so that there is a question in this, in april I'm going to Australia (Melbourne and then Sydney) for 3 weeks, what the fuck should I do there since I haven't been in 12 years. Sydney... Red Oak Boutique Beer Cafe is cool... PLUS the aquarium. fuckn love aquariums... you can snorkel places too... look me up. I'll take you...
You are super friendly! I cant work out if it's creepy or not. Defs creepy. Brb. Browsing your submitted history :P.
:) You're gonna be sorely disappointed. No no. wana be friends and stuff? :)
Took mah bitch there today. Edit: tickets are $28 online so grab em there. When are we all going???
I almost need this in my collection. Almost counts right? :)
Last updated: 2014-02-27 05:38 UTC
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